柏林日常 Berlin Daily

 

(English is Below) 
 

關於刻版印象 - 在德遇到的狀況，以及如何面對

早已有意探討這個題目。以往抱著「等想法再成熟一點再來談吧」的心態，但後來發現，啊啊我根本不會迎來真正成熟的一天，那就只有「現在」最為合適。

這篇文章的原意，不在於表達失望或憤怒，而是訴說自己是如何面對此一議題。

仔細想來，我來德國已經兩年了！

在德生活期間，偶爾會被人詢問：「你吃狗肉嗎？」、「所以你們所有人都是獨生子女？」、「所以你打算來這兒找個德國人結婚，好拿到居留權吧？」或是發出無意義的怪聲，假裝自己在說中文。在鐵路上，有個怪婆婆用雨傘襲擊我，只因為「我（外國人）讓她（德國人）需要多付稅。」。也曾有小小孩指著我的臉，問媽媽為何我的臉這麼扁平。

仔細想想，我在德國的生活還真是多姿多彩。

這些情況的確困擾了好一陣子。在最初，我極力反駁，而且力圖改正他們的觀點，但這做法讓人心力交瘁，而且——有些人只是拿你來尋開心，他們根本不在乎。

看到這兒，如果你感到不快，請繼續看下去。事實上，無論你怎摀著耳朵，大叫：「不可能不可能，這些只是個別例子！」，這些情況仍會發生。不論在歐洲，還是我們的家，「刻板印象」都會出現。

所以，與其否認，倒不如愉快地面對，順便尋一下樂趣：

「Nǐ Hǎo。」

「oh, Gruß Gott.」（這是在南德常見的問好，在柏林則是：Guten Tag）

「我沒嘗過狗肉，德國人的肉比較對味。」

「我也聽說德國人很準時，但為何你遲到了十四分鐘？」

「我的臉會長這樣，是因為我小時候吃太多朱古力了。」

對於「國籍」、「身份認同」等議題，當然要嚴肅看待，但同時，我也不介意對「文化差異」，開一些無傷大雅的玩笑。這些人是因為興趣，才會有疑問，你總不能因此而關上他了解異國文化的大門。

無可避免，我對德國（人）也有刻板印象，如啤酒不離手、每天都吃香腸、木無表情，以及非常嚴格的衛生標準。

呃……你能想像，我跟德國朋友外出時，我是當中惟一一個點酒精飲料的人。而且，基於健康和環保議題，在柏林吹起了素食風潮，直接後果是，我找不到一起啃肉的朋友。

對於德國人來說，別人說話時需專注，因此露出笑容是不尊重的表現。而有些人，他們需要時間，在腦海搜索表情，再反映到臉上，你再等十多秒，便可看到他們的反應。

到於衛生要求，則有個人差異。我曾經的寄宿家庭要求一塵不染，你可以在地板數有多少顆沙粒。也有人堅持「混亂也是其中一種秩序」。

說了這麼多，只是想帶出，每一群體都會有些概定印象，有些很有趣（我就是很愛吃飯，而且家裡也有電飯煲），也有些很傷人（我只是想跟你的狗打招呼，不打算吃他）。而我們的日常生活，也會影響自身的「刻板印象」。最終，個人行為是會凌駕於刻板印象的。

舉個例子，當我開始做義工時，那些無家者一看到我，都不外乎雙手合十鞠躬打招呼，不然就老遠地大叫：「啊，中國女孩！」。現在嘛，他們都會說：「香港。香港是香港。」

當中可能有一點炫耀的意思，畢竟讓其他人，尤其是語言文化都不同的人，理解並認同自己的理念，是讓人愉快的一件事。到最後，撇開惡意挑釁，若其他人仍然擁抱舊有印象，他們便錯失了認識新事物的機會；我也用不著去擔心，因為，這世上有更多值得讓我費心力的人和事。
 

About stereotype - How others think of me and how do I deal with it. 

The aim of this article is not showing my disappointment, but to show those who concern my mental health that I know how to overcome this theme. 

Since I am not an expert, these following points are developed based on my daily observations. That means, there are biases.
 

After two years living overseas, I am actually getting used to deal with situations such as being asked:

“Do you eat dog?”

"Everyone of you have no siblings, right?“

“Do you come and plan to marry a German so you could get a residence permit? „

or making meaningless noise and pretending they are speaking my mother language. An old lady attacked me with her umbrella in the S-Bahn just because “I (as a foreigner) make them (the German) need to pay more tax”. A child pointed at my face and asked his mama why I have such a flat face……

You are right; my life is so fruitful and always full of surprises. 

I was suffering from this issue and try to treat it seriously. But it is actually quite exhausting, and some of them do not even care, they just want to make fun with it. 

If you are feeling sad now, please don’t. Even though you are not such person, you could not just cover your ears and say, “That’s so rude and it should not exist”.  The fact is, no matter how hard I try to avoid, “stereotype” would still stick on my back. So, instead of starting an argument, I am using another strategy now.
 

“Nǐ Hǎo”, “Oh, grüße Gott”(this is a common greeting in the southern Germany)
 

“Actually dog is not on my dinner table, but German” (weird smile) 
 

“I have also heard that German are punctual, but why you have been late for 14 minutes?” 
 

“I have a flat face because I ate too many chocolates when I was a child.” 

For themes like “sense of belonging”, “nationality”, I would treat it seriously and ready to start a discussion with anyone. But at the same time, I enjoy making fun with those “harmless” stereotypes. I mean, they asked those questions to show their interests in my culture and my lifestyle, I should not ban the door, right? 

Unavoidably, I also had some stereotypes before entering Germany, for example, beer addictive, consume sausages mainly, no facial expression and strict hygiene standard.

Ugh…..could you believe that most of my German friends do not really consume alcohol. And more importantly, they are mostly VEGETARIANS. You are right, because of the fashion trend and health issues, more and more people are choosing to be a vegetarian or even vegan. 

To most of the German, it is important to concentrate on one‘s presentation, putting smiles on the face would be regarded as disrespect. And to some of them, they need time to search for a suitable response and reflect it on the face, it takes time. 

And for the hygiene standard, it depends on the people. The host family I used to stay is super strict, and you could clearly count how much sand was falled from the kids’ boots. How about the youth? Ugh, confusion is also a kind of order. 

What would I like to point out is, there are for sure some general ideas of a particular group of people, some of them are funny (I like eating rice and I do HAVE a rice cooker), some of them are unfortunately offensive(again, I just want to pat your dog buy not to prepare them as a meal), and our daily behaviour also affects such “stereotype”. After all, the individual behaviour is far more important than the general idea. 

Here is a concrete example. In the first few weeks working in the shelter, all the guests are rather calling me “the Chinese girl” or putting their hands together to greet me. With some minor effort, they are saying: “Hong Kong, Hong Kong is Hong Kong.” 

If you skipped all the passages and jumped to the last paragraph, here is my reactions: If one like to maintain their basis, he/she just lost a chance to know me better. If you are willing to discuss such issues, let’s sit down and we may grab a coffee first.